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BB9 Blog: 1st Nomination Ceremony

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LOS ANGELES (CBS) ― Okay, go with me on this.

Here's how I view Big Brother. These people are like bananas. These 16, well, now 14, people are some of the craziest nut-jobs on the planet. (Except maybe for 'Crazy James' who certainly hasn't lived up to his name yet.)

And yeah, they're not that bad at first glance. They probably get by okay in the real world, as their slowly-ripening annoying traits take time to dawn on others. But the BB house is like a big paper sack, where certain bananas go bad much faster. So after just a few days, it's painfully obvious to both the viewers, and the house guests, that some of them just can't be stomached.

Was that comparison a little crazy? Probably. Let's blame it on the house-guests for being just too fruity for words.

So we begin with Amanda and Alex high and excited off their HOH win.

Poor Parker, of the former "1st Power Couple." He really likes the celebrity analogies. "We were Brad and Angelina, and now we're Kathy Griffin and Pauly Shore."

Ahh.. here's one of our favorite things. The Memory Wall is up. Remember last season when Jen of BB8 had her major flip-out over the ugliness of her photo.  Want to know what's going on with her these days? Wait till you hear what Evil Dick had to say!

But this season, it's the new Jen who makes a picture-wall faux pas. "I'm the first one on the wall. hint hint. That means I'm going to win!!!!"

Crazy James: "Jen's the cockiest person in the house right now."

Even partner Parker wasn't happy with that comment. "Jen can open her mouth and insert her foot all the way to her thigh." From soul mate to soul HATE!

He chastises Jen for being too loud-mouthed, while Crazy James shimmies into a pair of tight purple pants (????) Oh yeah, James mentioned that he is sponsored by American Apparel.

Allison uses this moment to express her feelings about Jen. "Bitch."

She's done trying to create strategies around Jen, in addition to being matched with Ryan. "Jen would have been the last person I would have aligned with."

Allison goes around, whining about her predicament to everyone.
She threatens Jen, "You talk to me disrespectfully, you're screwed. I will reveal your secret."

She also tells Ryan. "You have a girlfriend here. Blah blah blah blah. I'm not comfortable with it but I'm so loyal, it's sick. It's disgusting."

And at an odd moment, perhaps just to soothe Allison's crazy, Ryan says, "I'm not putting her (Jen) over you." Wow. Does Jen know about this?

Elsewhere, Amanda reveals the tragedy of her past. "My father hung himself. if I can get over his suicide and helping pick out his coffin at 21 years old, I can get through anything." The BB editors sure have the art of counterpointing down.

The HOH room is revealed.

Alex: "I don't snore, nor does my baby girl Amanda." Have these two hooked up yet? Only you After Dark watchers know the truth!

Me, I think so, but either way, Amanda seems to have a healthy amount of self-love going on. When she spies a cute picture of herself and Alex she says, "My butt in this picture..love it!"

Alex explains to people that he lost his father on 9/11. Aside from the mutual attraction, Alex and Amanda certainly share similar tragedies. These two could actually have a shot.

Nighttime is always a great time in the BB house. The infra-red is on, so what better time to 'unwrap' some new information about each other!!

James announces, "Adam's nickname is 'The Hooded Warrior."

Why, everyone wants to know? (Hint: Maybe James doesn't think that Jen is the "cockiest in the house" anymore! Another hint: Remember my banana-analogy at the beginning? Relevant!)

Adam: "Cause I'm uncut!!"
Sheila: "Out of every guy here, I get the uncircumcised guy!" Why does she care? It's not as if she was going to sleep with him, was she?

Jen's never seen an uncircumcised penis, so Adam happily shows her. Then it's back under the covers for everyone. (Esp. Adam.) Heh.

What we can only assume is the next day, paranoid Jen and Parker are sure that Allison is going to reveal the big secret to everyone. So they decide to do it first. Parker tells Matt and Alex, who are annoyed that he kept it from them for that long.

Then, Parker and Jen bring in Natalie and Amanda, who can't really handle the stress. "God, you make me want to poop cause I'm nervous," she says. Well, she did say that she loved her butt earlier. Makes sense.

Eventually the whole house finds out and everyone is annoyed and feeling betrayed.

There goes that twist! Now we have no more known twists going on in BB9!! Is a week into the season a new record?

Allison is annoyed because she was never planning on telling anyone.
"Jen you're going to be sad about yourself after this. You're the most disrespectful person."

Jen is screaming at Allison "Don't lie, don't lie!" Everyone is telling her to calm down, even Ryan. Loose canon, this girl. And why does that bandana seem to just make it worse?

After the blowup, Alex and Matt share a moment. Yes, folks, it's a new BRO-MANCE. They promise each other to go to the end. Alex swears on his father, which is a big deal for him. They bring Amanda and Natalie into it. They decide they're a new alliance. This is the first confirmed alliance this season.

The four of them decide to put up Parker and Jen, and Allison and Ryan. "Two strong teams."

Downstairs, Sheila and Allison, bonding over their hated situations, decide to create a new fake twist all their own.

Sheila: "We're lesbians. That's the twist."

The two are hysterical over their wittiness. I have to admit, it's pretty funny and brilliant on their parts.

They find Joshuah and say "We feel bad because we promised not to tell."
Sheila: "Why do you think I've been so physically ill over having to sleep with a man."
They're all laughing, but Joshuah is stunned. Still, he believes and tells Neil.

They tell Chelsia, too, who says, "They're in love, it's adorable."

Any bets on how long this new "twist" will last?

Back in the yard, Sheila is complaining to Parker about Adam. Yes. Again.

She doesn't believe Adam works with Autistic children. She can't stand him or his uncut penis. Vent vent vent.

Matt and Alex tell her that Adam is not an idiot. They like him.
Sheila: "You're a guy. You're not a woman!!"
Matt, "If I was, I'd like him"

At the Nomination Ceremony, everyone is worried.

Allison: "Jen and Ryan's coming out was the stupidest thing they've ever done and now I might have to pay"
Jen: "I'm worried that we'll be nominated because of the secret. I'd rather Allison and Ryan be nominated than me and Parker." (If that's the case, how many of you bet that Parker and Jen end up hooking up. Place your bets now.)
Ryan: "Allison has dug a grave for us. A lot of people don't like her and it pretty much sucks."

In the end, it is Ryan and Allison, and Jen and Parker nominated. Alex and Amanda assure them it's all purely strategic, as it's not fair that Jen and Ryan have an advantage by knowing each other.

Let's end here as we began, with another quote from Parker: "Knowing Jen's dumb ass, she's going to open up her mouth and ruin it for the both of us."

So we've got a veto challenge coming up on Tuesday. Who has a chance of being saved? How long will the "lesbian twist" last? When are we going to see some soul-mate soul-kissing action going on? Let me know, folks and we'll see you on Wednesday morning!

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