Big Brother News

BB10: April Is Gone But Not Soon Forgotten

LOS ANGELES (CBS) ― Shakespeare wrote "April is the cruelest month."

Had he been around to watch "Big Brother 10" he might have written "And April is the most clueless houseguest -- ever!"

Before her eviction last week (hooray, and it was about time!) she actually whined to Ollie that she didn't know why everyone was out to get her. "I haven't done anything," she snorted, "all I do is wash dishes and bake things!"

Ah, April if were truly that simple. Why did people loathe you? Let us count the ways. Picking needless fights with Keesha. Sticking your nose into other people's business. Suggesting that people, namely Keesha, was jealous of you because you are "so much prettier." Putting people down who didn't go to college. Screaming. Screeching. The annoying pillow talk with Ollie, who, sorry, is about as exciting to talk to as a slice of half-buttered toast. Spending an inordinate amount of time talking about your boobs.

Okay, scratch that last one. That was actually some fun TV.

But, seriously, not since Alicia Silverstone starred in "Clueless" has one blonde gone out of her way to appear so, well, out of it. On at least four occasions, April said she was happy to be put up against Jerry, cause that would mean she wasn't going home.

Then should would say, she wasn't stupid, being up against Jerry didn't guarantee she was staying.

April, if you are reading this, the truth is, that was the problem with your game from Day 1. You overestimated your strengths and underestimated your houseguests. Although, I still have to give you points for one of the funniest lines this season and in many a "BB" season...that thing about Jerry picking his nose? Well, it's hard to see Jerry without thinking of that line!

This past week, we also got to see Renny continue some of the worst dramatics we've ever seen in the "BB" house. When she fairly hyperventilated upon entering her HoH room -- seeing pictures of her dearly, departed parents -- well, she was acting so hammy someone should have stuck cloves and pineapple on her butt.

Ollie has to be another actor. He is 200 lbs of strapping, manly muscle...and he is scared of a crow? He almost pooped his pants when a crow landed nearby. His histrionics were almost as good as Renny's, but Ollie, I'm thinking with the crow thing, you lost any chance you had of being a sex symbol.

Meanwhile, I do have to give Renny some props for being able to speak out both sides of her mouth. While saying she couldn't stand April and made her a target, Renny isn't stupid. She knows April is a member of the jury and in her goodbye video was so flattering, you'd think April was Renny's kid (a twist, perhaps!?)

Speaking of twists, someone give the man or woman coming up with challenges this season a big, old fat raise. Twisted! Eating crickets? Pig ears? (which my dog loves, by the way) and ... that really twisted Jungle game where they kept slamming the houseguests into a wall, in the rain? Who did you get these ideas from, the Marquis de Sade?

Dan also continues to grow on me. The line, "April has to go. With her bleach blonde hair you can see her a mile away." Meow. You teach Catholic school with that mouth? And when Renny was cutting his hair (his pride and joy, he calls it) that he could be vain and funny and kinda nutty about his hair all at the same time...well, you can't script stuff that funny.

And for total yuk-yuks, seeing Colonel Jerry go from calling Dan a Judas last week, to begging for forgiveness and his vote this week, well, if you go to a dictionary and look up "grovel" and "embarrassing" -- you should see a pic of Jerry there. Great TV. Somewhere, two or three generations of his family had to be hanging their heads in shame.

Ah, which brings me to my favorite "mixologist." Memphis was another flying under the radar for the first couple of weeks. But his take on Jerry in the diary room -- "Jerry lies, and he is annoying. And he gets under my skin, and he can't be trusted. And did I mention he is annoying?" -- was another season 10 highlight.

Memphis may not win BB10...my money is still on Dan (although I'm thinking his "deal" with Ollie to not put Ollie up might come back to bite him in the posterior.)

Whatever happens, someone get Memphis a sitcom deal!

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